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A skeleton walked into the Pub. Slammed $5 on the bar and shouted "Barman give me a beer and a mop".
The Skeleton steadily drank the beer; then he dutifully wiped the floor, so that it was fresh and clean.

The barman said. "Did that beer go down well?"
"Bloody brilliant mate," The Skeleton said "I was dying for a beer. But I got stuck in a hole for a while, and couldn't get here".

The Skeleton kept talking. "I have not been well lately. I feel stiff all over, and my joints are all seizing up, I am finding it bloody difficult to get around."

"You are in luck," said the barman. There is a chap in the lounge bar that happens to be a surgeon; A doctor. You should wander into the Lounge bar and get an opinion.

"I will do that," said the Skeleton and walked into the adjoining bar.
"Hello, Doc," said the Skeleton. The Skeleton Then explained to the surgeon exactly what his problem was.

The surgeon told the Skeleton in blunt terms that he could not give consultation or treat just anybody that walks in off the street. He would be far better off making an appointment with his Local General Practitioner and get a referral to a bone specialist.

"NO NO NO" shouted the Skeleton. He then became extremely persistent. "I need help NOW!"

"O.K." said the surgeon. "I can offer you some medical advice. What you need to do is call into the hardware shop on the other side of the street. Buy a can of CRC. That is a rust remover; it can loosen stiff joints, it's also a lubricant. Just give your whole body a quick spray. A fine mist over your entire body and this will get you running again."

This suggestion seemed to calm down the skeleton, and he set off across the street to the hardware store.

It was some while later when the Skeleton burst his way back into the bar. "HELP ME!"  he shouted. "I am rattling, shaking, my bones are all hanging loose. I cannot stand up properly."

The surgeon shook his head in dismay. "I said a fine mist!
You stupid, stupid Skeleton.
You have OVERDOSED".

                                                                           Pat Davis



“The bigger the better; in everything.”
Freddie Mercury



                           Pat Davis

Is a retired tradesman that has been a Hobby writer for many years.

He has written short stories for many weekly and monthly magazines From Penthouse to Womens weekly several 'Joke of the month' for weekly's like the  PIX and the POST

Retirement gives him time to spend

Hobby writing.